FO: My brother’s Christmas pillow

With Christmas done and dusted, I can finally show you an FO I completed ages ago. But first a warning…


If you are offended by, or just don’t like the sight of male genitalia (not real, but crafted), skip this post.

Now… let me preface this post by explaining something. I come from a family with a very … quirky…. sense of humor. My brother exemplifies this – he’s always been the joker of the family. And one of his favourite things to joke around about are penises. He draws penises on his friends dirty cars, in the snow, in the sand… wherever he can. He collects pictures of things in nature that look like penises (trees, carrots, etc).  I don’t entirely understand why… I think it all started with a small statuette my Great Grandmother had.  It was a little carved wooden dude, inside a barrel. But when you lifted the barrel, he had a giant penis. As a child, my brother thought this was the most hilarious thing ever. (In fact, I think my brother inherited said barrel man and he’s still kicking around today).

Over the years, and much to the chagrin of his wife and daughters, I’ve fanned this flame – usually in the form of gag gifts. Last year, I found a hand carved penis-shaped bottle opener, and stuck it inside the socks I made him.

Well earlier this year, I came across a very special quilt pattern, and new instantly what I was making my brother for Christmas.

Photo credit to Molli Sparkles

Now I wasn’t about to make him a whole quilt of penises (Jenn would kill me!), but I thought just one on a pillow would do!


I knew right away that I wanted to make it pink. And my brother is a guitarist, so I thought, why not make it musical? Believe it or not, it took me ages to get pink music fabric. Not because it’s hard to find… it’s just hard to find without paying a fortune in shipping. But I prevailed and well…. you can see the results!


I did a little bit of stitching in the ditch, and a 1/4 inch around to give it just enough pop.


And I added a zipper on the bottom to so he can remove it for washing.

And for a little extra credit… I’ve also got to show you his birthday gift.

This too requires a bit of a story… my Grandfather collected clowns – especially hobo clowns. My brother inherited a few of those too. This fall, I was mucking about on the internet, and somehow (I don’t even remember how) I came across a hobo clown cactus planter… not just any planter, one my brother would love.

I couldn’t find any already finished, so I had to get a plain bisque one, and paint it myself. My hands aren’t as steady as they used to be, but I managed a decent enough job…

It was finding a tiny cactus that fit, that was the real challenge, as Mr Hobo is only about seven inches tall!

8 thoughts on “FO: My brother’s Christmas pillow

  1. Araignee

    I LOVE it!
    I would have busted a gut trying to keep that pillow a secret.
    And that clown….oh, my goodness. That is hilarious.
    You win Christmas.


  2. I have something that I must get to you, to give to your brother.
    I’ve had them for years, and have been looking for the right candidate to send them to!
    Email me, and I’ll describe said items, then you can decide.
    I remember an artist that I’d see at local art shows, that had images of a woman walking through a field of upright peni, picking them and putting them in her basket…always wished I’d purchased one!


  3. Shirley

    How hilarious!!! I actually remember someone (no idea who now) having one of those outhouses you mentioned. You did an awesome job of painting that clown and finding the right plant. So what does your brother give you as gag gifts?


  4. Pingback: Down the crapper – Wandering Cat Studio

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